Easter is about Jesus, not bunnies or chocolate

It amuses me that, in Los Angeles, Easter in the mainstream media is reduced to chocolate sales and homeless meals. Anyway, in honor of Easter and Jesus (the real one, not Obama), I wanted to put together another Bible literacy quiz, but I forgot my Bible. Darn it.

So what I did is Google Jesus Trivia and Jesus Quiz and got a whole bunch of results. The quizzes on Fun Trivia are kind of cool – I scored reasonably well on the quiz on Jesus’ whole life and His death and resurrection, but did pretty miserably on the 5-question resurrection quiz. Hey, in my defense, it is labeled “tough.”

Anyway, my favorite so far has been the Beliefnet quiz. Turns out I’m a “Jerry Falwell Christian:”

Jerry Falwell Christian
(a.k.a. “Historicist” or “Literalist”)

You view the Bible as historically accurate and divinely inspired. You go to church every Sunday, with the Good Book in a Bible cover, and Wednesday night for Bible study. You’ve read at least one of the books in the apocalyptic “Left Behind” series, prefer your iced tea very sweet, and suspect Bill Clinton has murdered somebody somewhere in Arkansas. You watch “Touched by an Angel,” even though you think it’s not Christian enough. You may watch Mother Angelica’s Eternal Word Television Network, and you adore Dr. Laura, Chuck Colson, James Dobson, and Rush Limbaugh. If you’re Catholic, you go to Latin Mass and weekly confession, though you don’t have much to confess. You think homosexuals are sinful but try periodically to love them. You think the surrounding culture is so polluted that you shop at Christian bookstores, listen only to Christian radio and send your kids to Christian or parochial schools–or homeschool them. You give generously to your church and Christian charities. The Bible provides you not only a direct connection to God but a roadmap for how to lead your life.


While I do view the Bible as historically accurate and divinely inspired, attend church every Sunday (and I would attend Bible study every Wednesday if I didn’t work the night shift) and have read all of the Left Behind series (yes, ALL), I resent the stereotypes that come with respecting and believing in the Bible. I do not think Bill Clinton murdered anybody, I rarely watch Christian TV and I do not adore people I barely know, no matter how loud they shout. I also happily shop at Wal-Mart, Target, Ross, Barnes & Noble and Borders, along with stores like Lighthouse Christian Store. I do give generously to my church, but when we have kids, they’re getting public school like Trinity and I did.

Still, I gotta wonder why they didn’t give some sort of badge along with the stereotype. It’s pretty amusing.

One thought on “Easter is about Jesus, not bunnies or chocolate

  1. From one Jerry Falwell Christian to another, thank you for the post. I must be a Darleeneism Jerry Falwell Christian – I agree with your take on it. Happy Easter to you and Trinity (cool Easter name!)

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