Category Archives: Gross but funny

Crying over spit-up milk

Well, I guess no one cried, but I think my husband was ready to wring his hands.

This morning, Michael woke up at about 5 a.m., ready to eat. Its sort of an unsaid, general rule that my husband feeds Michael when its time for a bottle (we alternate between bottle and breastfeeding, but its all breast milk), so I tried to help by throwing away the dirty diaper, warming the bottle and sort of staying awake as he fed the baby. Michael was nearly done sucking down 4 ounces when he let out a loud fart. Now, it sounded wet, so my husband — before he finished burping Michael — set about changing his diaper, when the baby spit up.

If it had been me? I would have wiped it up and let it go, since Michael was wearing a sleeping gown over a onesie. But my husband wanted to change him into a new sleeping gown, so he began wrestling him out of the dirty one and into a new one. Finally, Michael was in the new sleeping gown, and we laid him down on the bed — on my side, since the bassinet is on my side — to put him in one of his Kiddopotamus swaddlers. Michael doesn’t seem to sleep well on his back unless he is literally tied down, so we usually swaddle him tight.

Michael was on his back, tightly swaddled when he spit up again. And not just a bit — he spit up what looked like a good ounce, all over his swaddle and on my side of the bed. We had to throw the swaddle in his hamper and just put him in a receiving blanket, which of course Michael broke out of easily. I ended up having to sleep on top of a towel because of the wet spot on my side of the bed, since, who wants to change the sheets at 6 a.m.?

It was a long morning.

A daily diaper challenge

Jump Start

Trinity sent me this recent Jump Start cartoon. The cartoon was almost eerie in how it perfectly illustrated how Michael must think of his daddy when it comes to diaper changes. We’ve given Michael different monikers — Captain Poopy Pants and Sir Pees A Lot are a couple. Its because, recently, Michael has been impressive in the explosiveness he’s been delivering in his diapers.

One incident was while Michael was sitting on daddy’s lap, getting bottle fed. We are in the habit of changing Michael before every feeding, so he was in a fresh diaper. Michael let out a wet fart, and all of a sudden my husband felt some moisture on his leg. After finishing the feeding, my husband checks Michael…..and finds the mess in his diaper somehow shot up his back. When my husband saw what he was dealing with, he called out, “D, I need an assist!” (I had used a need-sleep card.) We had to get rid of the diaper, change (and rinse out) the onesie, wipe down the baby’s behind and his back and clean up the changing table. It was a mess.

Then, there was this morning. (Have I mentioned these explosive diaper incidents all seem to happen in the early morning and only with my husband?) My husband was nearly done changing Michael when he let loose with the water spout. My husband thought he was cool because he caught it with the diaper, but urine had leaked out of the not-yet-fastened diaper, down Michael’s back and ….into his hair. I ended up putting some warm water in a basin and using a disposable baby cloth to give Michael an impromptu bath.

I don’t seem to run into as many diaper problems. I once got peed on, because I was so bleary-eyed I missed the telltale signs — a quiet baby and moisture on the baby’s penis. And I’ve had my share of onesie changes due to urine leakages. Oh, and at the mall, after a four-hour nap, Michael’s diaper had leaked poop in the cute outfit he had worn to church. But, last night, as I changed Michael at about 4 a.m., I had to work hard to avoid his eyes, but when he did catch my eye, he was smiling and laughing at me.

Silly boy.