Category Archives: Good Mommy

Becoming a working mommy

I know I said I wanted to go back to work, but I’ve been…not worried, but increasingly concerned this past week. Is Michael going to freak out without me?? What if he doesn’t freak out without me — does that mean I’ve been a bad or inconsequential mommy? Will his daycare provider comfort him when he cries? Will she know he likes to nap on his tummy? Will she know that his tummy rumbles a lot (leading to some spit-up episodes)?

These are the thoughts that run through my head, even as I consider the logistics of going back to a full-time job and being a mommy at the same time.

That’s all in addition to the paperwork I had to scour and fill out before Michael begins daycare. Michael will be cared for at a home daycare in Encino by a very nice lady named Adrienne Bradley. My husband had some major misgivings about me going back to work in April (which gave us just a couple of weeks to find someone we liked and felt we could trust), but he felt better once he met Adrienne and saw her home. Then, when I notified her that we would like to continue with our application process with her, she sent me a ton of paperwork, including all sorts of state forms that needed to be filled out before Michael could be enrolled.

But, the daycare is not my only thought, although its a major one. I won’t be able to list all the ways how going back to work will be different now, but I know my commute will now include obsessively checking the backseat to see how Michael is doing (I of course have a backseat mirror so I can see into his car seat). I wish Michael’s daycare was closer to my work so I could drop by easily, but what can you do? I’m seriously considering volunteering my expertise in installing a webcam system for her, just so I can peek on Michael whenever I want, but is that too Obsessive Mommy? It might be. Then, there will be the daily breaks I will have to take to pump. My coworkers are going to love that.

(Speaking of pumping, I’m going to need to find a bag that will fit my pump motor and cooler bag. And I can’t even imagine the faces of the men who’ll open the newsroom fridge and see little baby bottles of milk.)

Most of all, I already miss the lazy days of playing with Michael, making funny faces at him and making him laugh. But I do need to get back to work. I think I’m just one of those people who doesn’t feel productive if they’re not part of a structured work environment. However, I do see myself going part-time (or telecommuting, that would be awesome) so that I can be around for Michael’s games and other activities when he’s older.

Mommy in progress

When I thought up this blog earlier this week (and when I think up a new blog, the first thing that always comes to me is the name/domain name), I had all sorts of things to write about. The sleepless nights, the night I cried as my baby refused to sleep in his bassinet, my inability to nap as the baby naps (which everyone has advised me to do), etc.

But as I continue on my maternity leave (and I’m truly thankful I have maternity leave), I realize I am learning how to mother this little baby boy, who happens to now be two months old today, thank you. How do I know this? It turns out I am noticing how best to do things and advising my husband on these little techniques.

For example — last night, the baby was fussing as we tried to put him to bed in the bassinet in our bedroom. My husband was trying to put him to sleep, swaddled with his arms out (which is how we have him during the day), but I told him he needed to fully swaddle the baby (as much as the little guy protests) because that’s how I always put him to sleep, and he seems to sleep better that way. He did it, and lo and behold, the baby fell asleep.

Is this just a byproduct of spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with a baby? Or am I really learning how to be a mommy? Gadzooks.