I have been at my wit’s end with Kip lately.

This is just the latest offering he’s left on our light carpet recently. Earlier in the week, he’s also vomited on the carpet — in two places — repeatedly scattered litter on the coffee table (where we eat), oh, and when I walked in the door the other night, he was nonchalantly sleeping on the coffee table. Great.

(And yes, I realize Kip was trying to be a good kitty by giving us a kitty gift. Funny thing was, I was just about to give Kip some treats for being seated on the floor rather than the coffee table when I got home, but I saw the lizard as I turned on the light to get the treats. And, Kip went to his kitty bed, where I sometimes put his treats, looking for the treats he thought I was going to give him. But seeing a lizard in the house is not the first thing I want to see walking in the door after a night shift. I just wish there was a way to articulate this to a cat.)

I want to keep Kip, I really do. Someone please give me some advice on what to do with a bad kitty and a baby.