Regular readers of my now few-and-far-between blog posts — all three of you — know that New Year’s is my favorite holiday. I love the concept of starting anew, and my philosophy has always been that each year is better than the last. Somehow, I haven’t felt that way in a few years.
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I feel a little like the stock market today — ending flat after a somewhat volatile year. There were highs — Trinity got a raise and a title promotion, we celebrated our blue moon anniversary, Michael started kindergarten — but they seemed tempered by the lows — sky high rents and the decision to hold off on moving, not saving as much as we anticipated when Mike went to kindergarten, then the rent hike.
A friend and I joke a lot about the overuse of the hashtag #blessed. You see it a lot throughout the year under pictures that are cunningly shot and edited, showing how great that person’s life is, whether it be a photo of a new baby, a newly purchased home or even a scene from a fantastic vacation.
Well, I would like to share how blessed I am too.
My family has a razor-thin margin for error, financially, this year. The usual boy shenanigans, like tearing up shoes so much and so quickly are especially aggravating because we don’t have much in the budget for clothes. I’ve only been able to buy a few pieces of clothing or shoes here and there with the little I earn from the advertising on my blogs. — with a lot of guilt, because my kids need clothes, too. And Trinity has literally bought nothing for himself in the past two years. Getting McDonald’s has become a treat for me! because we have to be so careful about not eating out too often. I was so bummed when it became obvious we would not be able to hold a party for Mikey’s 5th birthday — the first birthday he’s wanted to actually have a party. We splurged on a Christmas tree this year, but that’s been our only concession to the holidays. And I nearly burst into tears when I dropped my phone in a parking lot, shattering the screen. Pieces are literally still coming off it. (I got it fixed last night. Thank goodness for Adsense payments.)
(None of this is due to any fault of ours, unless you count having a surprise third baby or experiencing a layoff in the family a couple of years ago as mistakes. And there are people who do, but I’m not one of those people.)
But I am blessed. It’s been a difficult year, there’s no argument about it. But with all the difficulties, I’ve seen the blessings. Got a third baby you weren’t planning to have and really can’t afford? That just means I have another little snuggly human to cuddle for another 3, 4 years, or however fast it takes him to lose his snuggly chunkiness and take off running every time I come looking for a hug. In the midst of daycare/preschool bankruptcy for at least till next fall? Thank God my husband and I have jobs to pay for my kids’ care and that we like and trust our kids’ caregivers. Don’t much like the current residence? I’m still grateful we have a roof over our heads and central heating that sometimes works a little too well. Hankering for In-N-Out and can’t afford it? Well, I am simply thankful we’ve got food in the refrigerator and freezer. Lamenting an inability to go out and buy Christmas gifts for the kids? I’m still weepy, thinking of how my sisters, brother, my church family and my friend Iliki have come through with gifts for my boys. My husband and I have working cars, we’re all in good health and we’re all together. Really, there’s nothing more I need than that right at this moment.
#blessed. Yes, I’m not in a place where I can buy a home, or go on vacation or even buy a brown pair of boots. But I’m so blessed and so thankful and grateful — not only for all that I have right now, but for this experience, so that when I am able to do those other things, I’ll value it that much more.
So, farewell 2014, and thank you for my Elliott. 2015, let’s make some new things happen.
If you know me or have read my blog for any length of time, you’ll know that New Year’s is my favorite holiday. It’s a sort of tradition in my family — we always spent New Year’s Eve together. Plus, there’s always been something special and exciting about celebrating the new year — you know, it being a fresh, new year. And I’ve always said every year is better than the last.
This, however, is the first year I began with more than a little worry. 2012 was not the greatest year, in my opinion. I mean, 2011 sucked quite a bit in its own right, but at least that year I had Chris, who has been a joy and a blessing. For my family and I, 2012 was a year of tumultuous changes that we’re still navigating.
Considering all that, you’d think I’d be happy to bid 2012 farewell — and I am. But, 2012 has been so traumatizing, you could say I’m a little gun shy about looking forward to a new year.
I gotta say, I’m happy to say farewell to 2008. There have been some ups, sure — my 10-year blogiversary, my 30th birthday –but also some downs, like my mom’s death. I previously thought that I had bad luck in years of 7, but now, I think I have to add 8 to the unlucky numbers list. Here’s to hoping 2009 will be blessed!
I will probably write more. Sorry! I just don’t want to keep Trinity waiting. :)