It was big spider though!

Apparently, he walked out and saw this spider and it was so big, he actually thought it was a toy someone left to scare us. So he swatted it with a newspaper and it didn’t move. Then he took this sign from in front of our place and swatted at it — and it moved! He freaked out and yelled my name so loud, I heard it from the office, in the back of our place. He yelled for me to bring a can of Raid and close the door. I brought him the Raid and eased the can out the door (because even though I didn’t know yet what he was freaking out about, I know the manner of bugs that surround our place). After some heavy spraying, I peeked out the door and saw a massive spider with yellow and black markings on its back and said, “whoa!” and immediately closed the door again.

A few minutes later, he asked for a couple of paper towels, which I ran to get — and my camera. If you want to see this poor smushed spider, click on through.

You can click it if you want to make it bigger, but why would you want to?

Apparently, this is a yellow garden spider or golden orb weaver. According to the interwebs, they’re not poisonous, but they can bite, yet are beneficial to humans because they eat pests like mosquitos and the other flying bugs we try to avoid every night coming home. Oh well. They’re not beneficial when they’re trying to get in my house.

Yeah, this is one of the myriad reasons we’re moving.

Oh wait, I haven’t mentioned before that we’re moving. Yeah, we’re moving. We’re not moving far, just maybe 5, 10 minutes away from where we live now, but the new place has wood floors on the first floor and a garage!

The wood floors and the garage — whether one car or two, but definitely wanted direct access — were what we wanted the most. The garage, so I don’t have to go pounding on neighbors’ doors anymore to get the heck out of my parking spot when I used to come home at 11:30 p.m. Seriously. And for the storage, because I know babies (and the children they grow into) just have a lot of stuff.

The wood floors I wanted also because we’re having a baby. You might wonder — why do you want wood floors with a baby? Wouldn’t that be harder on them? Oh we have a good reason.

Back in January, we were at a friend’s sister’s house for Super Bowl Sunday. We were all having a great old time and preparing to watch the Super Bowl commercials. Our friend had lots of family there, including kids, and as we sat for halftime, talking and laughing and eating, one of the kids came into the room and stopped just maybe a foot from Trinity. He was a young boy, maybe 6 or 7. He stood there for a second, then opened his mouth and let go this fountain-like stream of liquid and everyone froze. The fountain lasted about 5 or 6 seconds — I kid you not — then the boy paused, then let go another flow again.

I think 3 seconds later, after the second projectile vomiting fountain stopped, his father swooped in and grabbed him, while everyone else jumped out of their seats and headed for the outdoors. Trinity, the whole time, had sat staring in horror at what was happening to his immediate left. With everyone outside, our friend’s sister immediately set to work mopping up the mess from her wood floors. After about 20 minutes, she had finished and the place — with a still mild stench of sickness — slowly filled up again.

If the place had been carpeted, we would have been watching the second half of the game outside, believe me. Which is why Trin and I wanted wood or tile floors. So there you go.