McDonald’s doesn’t serve vegan food?!

I started producing this story tonight, and as I was working on it, I almost couldn’t believe it was for real:

In the court papers filed Wednesday, [Nadia] Sugich claims she would not have bought or eaten the French fries if she had known they contained dairy and were not vegan.

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The lawsuit, alleging fraudulent and unfair business practices, was filed on behalf of California consumers who have eaten McDonald’s fries in the past four years and are concerned about the consumption of dairy or wheat products for health, moral or philosophical reasons.

Among her requests of the court, Sugich asked that the class be reimbursed for their French fry purchases.

I sent the link over to my buddy Sam, who is a ravenous meat-eating Filipino like me. She had some choice things to say over IM:

If being vegan means losing your brain to stupid, I will increase my intake of dead animals.

It’s like, dude, the human race survived the plague, the Great Potato Famine and the Conquistadores so WE CAN EAT TOFU?? Hell to the NO.

Good golly. If tigers and lions and great whites were atop the food chain, they sure as hell ain’t gonna whine and eat kelp. Jesus.

Aw man. Hi-larious. In fact, it was a pretty funny night in the newsroom. Later, we saw the assignment desk guys doing exaggerated hand movements over our in-house webcam, apparently mimicking the movements of the Olympic figure skaters. I think they’re ready for the Ice Capades.

In other news, check out this video. I can’t believe that this guy decided it would be a good idea to try to rob a place with a blowtorch, then when it didn’t work the first time, to try it again! Man, there are some gems out there.