Let’s get ready for some football!

So. Super Bowl Sunday is coming up. I’m not a football fan.

I’ll be going bowling.

However, I do like to make my friend Marc cringe with my disinterest in football. He recently wrote this article, and I swear I inspired at least one line. Most of the article, however, is about his mom:

Every Super Bowl party has somebody who struggles with the concept of down and distance, a football fundamental simple enough for even the common NASCAR fan to understand.

What’s even more mind-boggling is how otherwise intelligent people ask things like “is that a home run?”

Take my mom, for instance.

No matter what football game I’m watching, she inevitably asks “Maaaaarc! Is that Joe Montana?”

“Mom, he’s been retired for‚Ķ”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s a good one!”

“But this isn’t‚Ķ”

“You know, he’s handsome like (Jean Claude) Van Damme!”

Needless to say, an extreme case of football ignorance can put a bigger damper on a Super Bowl party than a Mick Jagger wardrobe malfunction.

I had to read it aloud to my coworker Caroline and my husband so they could get the full effect of the accent that Marc and I like to mimic.