I worry more and more about having a public blog. I don’t mind so much writing about myself, and actually, if I had a more anonymous blog, I might actually reveal more. Well, maybe not anonymous, but more discreet and not attached to my resume. OK, this is what I might do. I might continue to post entries on this site, darleeneisms. However, I won’t keep the archives here. I’ll put them somewhere else, or maybe not at all. I just worry now about maintaining my credibility. I don’t want to have someone from the city do a random search on my name and point it out to my boss or something.Maybe I’m being paranoid. Heh. But I know one of my sources knows I’m not, because he was fired because of his blog. At any rate (I’ve noticed that this is one of my favorite phrases now), I am looking to revamp my site. I don’t mind the white backgrounds, black type so much. Who knows, I might change it back again. I don’t know yet. But I am definitely looking to change the design. I would like to incorporate more photos, but I haven’t been able to take so many photos lately, I’ve been so busy.

Can I just say that I utterly adore NSN Guy? Just spending time with him is so great. I know I’ve raving, but at least smile in begrudging admiration that I genuinely love and cherish this guy. There are times, yes, when he is a boy and I chat with other people (mostly strangers off other sites) for, I guess, attention. Distant and impersonal attention. NSN Guy sounded skeptical when I told him yesterday I chatted with some guy off one of these sites. But he just doesn’t know that I sometimes grin stupidly at the thought of him as I sit in traffic on the 101. I love messing up his hair (especially since I know he’s so fastidious about his appearance – not conceited by any stretch, just fastidious). I love touching his face. I love touching his skin, although he says I’m the one with the nice skin. He’s just so adorable. No picture I take of him could ever do him justice.

OK. Have I made you all ill yet? I can’t help it. Let me try and change the subject. Have I mentioned I’m trying to lose weight? I’m just not happy that I can’t fit into pants that used to be loose on me. It boggles my mind that I used to be so skinny and I didn’t realize it. Then it boggles my mind that I’ve gained so much weight, then I get all depressed and pissy about it. No, I don’t. I just go eat another chocolate chip cookie. No, I’m kidding. I dunno. I am trying to change my eating habits – by drinking more water, not eating so late, exercising more often – but I can’t seem to make myself stick to stuff. At any rate……we’ll see what happens. I don’t know if I care enough to want to fit into a bikini.